Obvious and Contagious

Cars with SNOW on them?!

I live in an area that never sees snow. I don't live in the desert, but the snow (usually) melts before it hits the ground. Today I learned that not only was it cold outside, but that there was snow on the foothills surrounding the valley. Umm... I was not prepared to hear that cars around town had snow on them.

Snow is beautiful. It is. However, not on highway 17. I thought I lived in an area where you could get away with flip flops all year? Hhhmm.

It does get me in the holiday spirit. I love the rain, and I love when it's cold and I get to wear all my chunky sweaters and hats. Hats mean that I don't have to put much effort into my hair. I say it like I usually spend a lot of time on my hair or something- definitely not the case... that's why it's short:)

The best thing about the cold weather is all my favorite activities are socially acceptable with this kind of weather! Puzzles, knitting, watching movies, drinking hot tea, snuggling up on the couch (well, separete sides please) watching a basketball game after watching some hockey... play board games, listening to some drip drip music (something like William Fitzsimmons or Andrew Bird) while reading the new James Patterson book. Oh, and did I mention cooking/baking? I love to bake when it's cold because my small apartment can almost be heated just by using my oven. Yeah... my 800ish square feet are amazing:)

You never really know someone

I was watching Curb Your Enthusiasm last night and Larry David was talking about how he knows all the songs to West Side Story. The person he was talking to was surprised and he said, "you never really know someone. You think you know the kind of person they are, and then they always surprise you."

So I've spent the weekend watching my nephews while my sister and her husband took their daughter to the city for a quick weekend trip. My nephews are always pretty mellow when I'm with them, and this Saturday night was no exception. I let them stay up late but we (yes we) were just watching the Sharks play a tough game against Calgary. I had recorded the Boston/Toronto game and we watched that too.

The thing is, it's not shocking to anyone who knows me to spend my "free time" watching sports. In fact, I think people expect it. What I did after is something that would surprise everyone but my sisters. I watched "White Christmas" and "Meet Me in St. Louis" while reading about how to dye your own yarn.

I feel like I'm two different people sometimes. The person who can name all 30 teams in the NHL and knows random trivia about the 4 major sports I pay attention to while also understanding Jane Austen and how to make the best lasagna in the world. I love to knit a scarf while watching a football game. My dream vacations are all places that have spectator sports I want to see, but I also have a trip that involves my camera and a hike through a forest (there are trees in the forest and I like trees).

I'm the person who (oddly?) has the maternal instinct and understands two little boys very well, but can't stand the emotional side of relationships. One of my favorite bands is Depeche Mode but I can't help but LOVE those indie rock guys with beards- something should be said for the lyrics to songs by Andrew Bird. I can't whistle but when I listen to his music I pretend that I can. I feel sorry for anyone who hears me pretend to whistle! So what if I like to come home kick back with a beer and a jigsaw puzzle while listenign to classical music? Don't worry, I always make sure to record the Lakers game because God forbid I miss yet another win:) I love movies like Boondock Saints and Fight Club but I also love movies like The Phildelphia Story and An Affair to Remember. I do NOT enjoy The Way We Were- what the hell is up with that movie?

It could be that I'm a very ecletic person or that I'm just nuts. I mean I find nothing more appealing than sweats and an old baggy tshirt that was once my dad's. However, I love the look of vintage clothing from the 40's- the dresses make me swoon...

Pieces,
Kath

P.S.
I also know all the songs and lyrics to West Side Story (and most musicals)

My (fake) letter to Santa

Okay, so I haven't written to Santa in a lot of years, but I figured that it couldn't hurt. So here's what I've got so far:

Dear Santa,

I hope you've had a great year, I can't really say the same for me. It's definitely been quite an emotional roller coaster, and I've spent a lot of time thinking and feeling. And I've spent a lot of time in a knee brace talking about pain and rehab. Aside from the personal struggles I've had to deal with like getting older, realizing that it's okay I'm not living a traditional life, learning what I want out of life and being content with what I have; I've lost a lot this year. Yes, my best friend from high school passed away, but I've also lost/grown apart from friends. I spent a lot of time being bitter and blaming my knee injury, but I'm a smart girl, and I eventually figured it out.

The best part about falling down (ha ha ha) this year was that I'm learning that my life is for ME and not anyone else. Okay, so it's true- my life still revolves around my family and whatever they need me to do, but I'm getting to a place where I understand that these are the best years of my life and I should take advantage of the fact that I'm unattached. I give everything I have to other people, and I understand that this is what I'm supposed to do in life (sigh) but I'm still young. I'm going to use my "younger years" and start traveling more.

Now, I could sit here and write about all the things I want. They're varied from a garbage disposal to a smaller car to an Xbox so I can play NHL10 to season tickets to hockey. However, to contine with the theme of travel... I would like to go to the Winter Classic. I know, it's pretty much impossible and is absolutely unlikely to happen. I'm pretty sure you're laughing as you're reading this because you've known me my whole life and since when have I wanted to sit outside in the snow for anything but watching my nephews learn how to ski? This is an experience I want to have and I've never been Boston, and I've never seen the Flyers play the Bruins. What is so cool about these two teams is that I'm familiar with them. I know the players (not as well as the Sharks) and I think these two teams have a great dymanic when they play each other. Oh, and I've never seen a hockey game outside before. That's probably my fault but I live in a place that doesn't have snow and ice hockey is always indoors.

So Santa, there's my selfish Christmas wish. I know it should be something more worldly, or a gift that everyone can enjoy, but it's not like I'm asking you to send the Sharks to the Sanley Cup (along with me).

Sincerely,
Kathryn a.k.a. Kathi

P.S.
I would be just as happy with a snow globe. I don't want to be too specific, but maybe Fenway Park with snow and hockey players... just a thought.

I've never seen this in my life.

Usually things that involve mushy love stuff like declaring emotions make me throw up in my mouth a little bit. If it's in a movie (cough Jane Austen adaptations) I'm absolutely fine with it. In fact, I've been known to spend my Sundays watching sports followed by some kind of movie that is an absolute chick flick. Umm... is it too early to be watching Love Actually? No.

So today I had this huge paper due for school that I've been stressing in silence (by silence I mean I wasn't telling strangers about it) all week. I needed to get out of my apartment at least to get the mail, and added a Starbucks trip for a green tea. I've been walking a lot lately which my knee has allowed with little complaint. It could be this weather, but I'm finding myself looking for places to walk to. Actually, it is absolutely the weather because of my love for trees that are green near the trunk and decorated with red leaves.... I love to stop and stare. Seriously. I blame it on my parents who chose to raise me in a home that was across the street from an oak reserve park- there is one tree that I look at every single time I leave their house. It's gorgeous.

Okay, so I'm ordering my coffee and talking to the guy who doesn't know what extra ice means about hockey. I wearing my Sharks tshirt (that is now covered in bleach stains thanks to a horrible accident a couple weeks ago) so I had it coming. As I was being quizzed on past players and coaches (Downside of being a girl who likes sports you either have to know everything or nothing. It's ridiculous and unfair but luckily I've been able to hold my own this week. Yes, it's happened at least twice this week.) I noticed a really cute couple sitting outside. The girl was trowing away their trash and when she got back to the table he got down on one knee....

Yeah, I saw a marriage proposal. It was absolutely adorable, and definitely pulled my heart strings. Now, was this because it was at a Starbucks over an early afternoon coffee? Was it because there was no ring in sight making it spur of the moment? I don't know, but it was a first for me and was so cute to watch.

I didn't hear all of his speech (?) or whatever you call it but he said something about how he's wanted to propose every Sunday since they first met. Come on, even I think that's sweet! It did make my thirst for happy endings subside because I can only take so much. The Sharks lost in overtime tonight and my latest murder/mystery is waiting for me to read. I can only take so much mushy love stuff...

Pieces,
Kath

Snowman vs. Snow Globe

It's not even Thanksgiving yet and I have already been gifted 2 snowmen! My sister Lisa found this HUGE snowman head (that is absolutely adorable) at a store and knew it would be perfect for me. He doesn't have a name... just like all the other snowmen I have. If I name one, I will have to name them all and I'm not good with names. Yesterday, my friend Dena came over before our nature walk (you read that right) and had a little something for me... a cute snowman ornament who is on his belly wearing ice skates. I'm not sure if this is a hint and bribe of some kind to get me to go ice skating (the rink where we live opens in about a week or so) this season, but I think the snowman will be the only one wearing ice skates.

But I love the rain.... (hint hint weather)

Okay, so now you've seen a glimpse into my snowman collection. I have already said that my snowman obsession will lead to a loss of friends this holiday season. I remember when I moved into my apartment a couple years ago and decorated for Christmas- when people came by they were distracted by the faces looking at them. I love snowmen. What can I say? What's really weird is I've NEVER not once in my entire life made a snowman. Also, I despise the snow. Weird.

Snow globes. I think they are absolutely gorgeous and wonderful keepsake to have of a certain memory. Whenever I get ready to go on a trip somewhere (like when I went to NYC to see the stadiums before they were torn down) I vowed I would get a snowglobe to remember the trip. I came back with a tshirt. Okay, a few tshirts but I didn't get a snow globe.

I want to start collecting snow globes especially since I have a list of places I want to go to in the next year... You would think that I would have ones for the places I've been to a zillion times; San Francisco, Hawaii, L.A... but no. I'm horrible. I can't even collect something I want. 

Since I love snowmen and snow globes you would think that there would be a snow globe with a snowman inside... nope. Soon, I'll get there. If I end up in Seattle and/or Canada like I hope to this year I will not come back unless I have a snow globe. Yes, Seattle for the rain and for my birthday because I had the absolute worst birthday last year. It was awful and I was essentially alone. The seven days surround my birthday were awful... I refuse to let that happen again. (Apparently I think going away will make it better) Canada because I really REALLY want to. The accents, the hockey... plus, I've never been.

Don't worry Chicago, you're on the list but that trip requires extensive planning:)

Pieces,
Kath

Austen Obsession.

I'm a bookworm. I love to read. I love reading anything from the sports section to a James Patterson murder/mystery to one of the many Jane Austen novels to magazines. I love to read.

It could be because I'm lonely (boo hoo for me) or because it's the fall season, but I've been re-reading Austen novels. I have a book that has all of them in it, along with a collectors addition of each novel. But it doesn't stop there. There are the movie adaptations of the books which are all in my queue at Netflix, and then the Austen-inspired stories as well.

There's a book called Austenland which is about a girl who goes on a vacation to a place that is just like it was in the Austen era. Alright, it's a sappy love story. Then, Amazon ruins my life with it's suggestions for me... there was this 4 part mini-series event on BBC that's called Lost in Austen. A girl finds herself in the novel of Pride and Prejudice and she has to try and not screw up the story with her being there. Again, a sappy love story.

Here's the thing with these books and movies- they all feed into the delusions that I try to steer away from in my real life. However, I find myself drawn to these stories and the novels that Jane Austen wrote (including Northanger Abbey which no one ever reads again except me) are on my all time favorite list.

Obviously I have feelings because I love these damn stories. I don't own all the movie versions of the Austen novels, but I own the good ones. Both versions of Pride and Prejudice, Sense and Sensibility, and Mansfield Park. I even have Becoming Jane. Yeah, they all sit on the shelf right next to Fight Club and Boondock Saints...

You would think that the stories about women obsessed with Austen and how it ruins their lives would change my feelings toward the books right? Wrong- I'm an Austen fan through and through and Lord help me. At least I read during hockey intermissions... that's something right?

Pieces,
Kath

New mix in the works!

It was a year ago that my famous mix was created. It was actually around daylight savings. My sister Christina from L.A asked me what I was going to do with my extra hour and I said nothing and she told me she was going to take a bath. It sounded so great, that I decided to do the same. I needed some bath time music so I spent a little (probably too much) time creating something.

Turns out, it was amazing and is a favorite among my family and friends:)

I need to create a new one for the holidays. My friend Dena gets mixes sent to her from friends and we had a baking session before Halloween and listened to a fall season mix. Um, it was amazing and I felt
extremely jealous. Luckily, I'm such an amazing person that I turned my jealousy into motivation and I have created a fall mix of my own!!! I haven't come up with a title for the mix yet and the song order is still in the works, but the artists include the following:

(I suggest all of these artists for everyday listening because they're amazing)

-Margot & the Nuclear So and So's

-William Fitzsimmons

-She and Him

-The National

-Alexi Murdoch

-Erin McCarley

-RuRu

-Stars

-Andrew Bird

-Priscilla Ahn

-Ingrid Michaelson

Joshua Radin

See it's not necessarily about new music, though the people who know me understand that I could spend hours just listening to new songs... it's about how they flow throughout the mix. Think of John Cusack in High Fidelity when he makes that girl a mix and you get it. Tone. We shall see how well this goes because I haven't spent a lot of time playing around with music lately. Maybe that's why I'm so cranky.... haha

Pieces

A more serious post. Ughl- feelings.

Friday night I was at the bookstore with my sister Lisa. We were walking and talking and here's what I said:

Me: If I knew the reason why I don't have a boyfriend, I could fix it.

(Lisa makes a face that says, yeah right)

Me: Or at least hide it better.

This is so funny and sadly true. I'm saying this with as much sarcasm as I possibly can- it's so weird that I don't have a boyfriend. I know why I don't have a boyfriend. It's so easy to see... I'm not out there. I work, I'm focused on school, and sometimes hang out with my friends. Over the summer my friendships with my guy friends faded away. Actually, it's slowly been happening since about February. I got hurt (my knee) and my friend passed away along with a family member shortly after that. The people that stuck around and kept me from falling down a hole shared blood with me. My parents drove from their Palm Springs home to be there for me. My sister who lives in L.A. flew up to be with me. My sister who lives here, kept my spirits up and kept me going everyday. 

I've said it a million times since February- 2009 sucks. I spent the first part of the year a stones throw away from becoming seriously depressed, and the second part of the year working my ass off because it's been thrown in my face too many times this year how short life can be. I've spent what should be my four years in college finding myself and what I'm really good at and now I'm ready to go after it. There are things that I want to do, and I'm going to do them. I will say this about 2009, it brought me back to a friend I hadn't seen or talked to in years. Dena and I have known each other since 4th grade. We hadn't seen or heard from each other in quite a long time, but when our friend passed, she reached out and I reached back. Since then, we've rekindled our friendship and found that as adults we have common interests that make for quite a lovely friendship. (That's the word I can use for our hangout sessions- lovely. I always leave them having that feeling.)

Okay, so no boyfriend because I'm not out there. It's true. I have my interests that range from knitting to screaming and high fiving at hockey games. Friendships this year have faded and I've found myself with a smaller group of people that I enjoy spending time with. It works, but leaves me without my person.

The holidays suck without a person but I seem to get through them with puzzles, coffee, and sarcasm:)

Soon I'll be out there for real, and then I can complain. But until then, I have places to travel to, and family and friends to spend time with.

Pieces

Keys in the Trash.

Before I begin the tale of how I threw my car keys in the trash can, I need to tell another car key incident.

When I was living with my sister Christina in L.A. a few years ago, we had a Blockbuster membership. The Blockbuster my sister and I went to was right next to a Starbucks. One early morning, I went to get some coffee and to drop off a dvd. Starbucks was open, and Blockbuster was not... the quickdrop was there though. I walked up to the quickdrop put in what I thought was the dvd and proceeded to Starbucks for a venti drip. As I walked back to my car, I noticed that my car wasn't unlocking... apparently there are no buttons on a dvd case that can unlock my car. It was hours before Blockbuster would open (which was 2 hours away) so I had to wait. As soon as the video store was open, I stumbled in there to ask the clerk to check the quickdrop for car keys. After getting a facial expression that I will never forget, he laughed and said that no keys were in there. I explained what happened, showed him the dvd and saw my keys sitting there. He still refused to turn around until another worker there heard, laughed, and saw my frustration grabbed my keys and said that this was definitely a first. I have never lived that story down, nor do I believe I ever will.

Flash forward to this past week. I have developed a routine in the morning- coffee before anything gets done. I'm always saying that I'm a much more pleasant person to be around when I have a coffee beverage. I haven't been the grocery store in a really long time (If my memory is correct- 2 months. How do I live? I steal food from my parents house, and my sister Lisa makes sure that I'm always fed. She finds that I'm a much more pleasant person to care for her children when I'm fed.) So on this day, I had a lot on my mind and to-do list that I already knew wasn't going to get done before I had to be at work.

I ordered my coffee, saw the icy goodness in the venti cup, grabbed the straw, ripped the paper from the botton, put the straw in with the remaining wrapper on the top part of the straw (I don't want to get germs) and the other part of the wrapper in my left hand with my keys there as well. Get it? Left hand holds car keys, and straw wrapper. Right hand has the venti cup and sunglasses. I walked over to the bar where I was going to add some Splenda to my drink. I set my sunglasses and cup down and threw away my keys while setting the wrapper down in the counter- where my keys should go. After I put my Splenda in I grapped the cup, my sunglasses and saw the wrapper. Knowing that I'm in a public place, I knew screaming was out the question and I don't cry... whine is more accurate but again... I was in a public place and I've learned that gets me nowhere.

I used my nicest voice to ask for help and the girl who came to my rescue looked at me much in the same way as the guy from Blockbuster three years ago. She pulled out the garbage can and saw my keys on top, and placed them in the napkin I had ready. I guess she realized that I was a crazy person and tried to make me feel better about my mishap by saying that if I had to drop my keys in any trash can, this one would be the best because it's just coffee stuff. I gave a fake laugh that blended in with the other customers laughing at me. I got out of there as fast as my messed up knee could allow. Once to my car, I grabbed the GIANT bottle of germ snatcher I have in my car door and opened it up and poured the contents onto my keys. Extremely grossed out, I drove straight to my sister's house and washed them.

I don't what is worse, dropping my keys in the garbage, or not realizing that I did that until minutes later.

I don't know what's wrong with me... and I refuse to search for an answer to that.

Dear Grey's Anatomy.

I may have to stop watching you. First of all, my DVR is going crazy on Thursday nights, and though I wait to watch most of it for when I have "spare" time, your show is really hard to watch these days. Yes, I know that you're only into the second episode of the season, but I could barely get through the first episode. I might have to remove you from my "To Do List".

Kathryn

Alright, so I've been a huge Grey's fan since day one- well day two. My sister Lisa was talking about this great show at a family dinner one night and said that the first episode had just aired and I needed to start watching it. It's been amazing, and I always look forward to seeing what emotional disater will be going on at Seattle Grace Hospital.

2009 has been no picnic for me in any way. I have said (and still believe) that 2009 has been the worst year of my life. I have been on one hell of an emotional rollercoster and I've had to actually learn about my feelings on things and look inside my soul. It's gross and I don't like doing that. That's this thing I do, where I find feelings and emotions gross so that I don't have to focus on them. Usually works. This year, not so much.

So last week on Grey's the theme of the episode was coping. Um, yeah I'm still not even close to being there. My parents have asked me numerous times to go through boxes from high school but I can't because I'm not ready to approach the emotions of all of that yet. It's really hard for me, and God bless the 2 people that I feel comfortable enough to talk about her to, because it's overwhelming.

The episode was 2 hours long, and I got through 17 minutes. I cried during 16 of those minutes before calling it a night. Over the past week I managed to get through the episode without crying TOO much. The episode this week was okay... I didn't cry which was definitely a step up but I'm still not sure if I can keep it on my "To Do List".

Oh, is it sad that I was upset that Melrose Place didn't record, but I'm questioning whether or not to record Grey's Anatomy?

Wow, I think I just decided what to do in that last sentence. I'll hold on to it like I'm trying to hold onto my dignity. Doubt it will work, but it's worth a try.

Pieces,
Kath